Full On Metaphoric Drug Dependency

Addiction has now been moved up a class to Full On Metaphoric Drug Dependency. In the case of actual drugs, this would be A Very Bad Thing. As it is, what with being metaphorical and all, it is Not A Very Bad Thing after all.

It is, to be perfectly honest, A Very Good Thing Indeed.

And just like that, this metaphoric drug addict has succumbed to the addiction and is now a fully fledged metaphoric drug dependent. The "drug" itself is also addicted to me. Joy oh joy.

No seriously. JOY OH JOY. No sarcasm involved there =) none whatsoever.

I'm happy, happy, happy. If I was someone watching myself I'd be sickened by it all. But I'm not, so happy, happy, happy it is.

On a completely different note, one kilo of chicken was recently stolen from a kitchen in the hall of residence for which I am the Residential Advisor. The resident was not aware that one whole kilo of chicken could suddenly just disappear from a kitchen pod.

But disappear it did.

It got stolen.

By a cat. A big, black cat stole one kilo's worth of chicken and managed to manhandle it from the second story to the ground floor. Pretty damn ninja for a cat, if I do say so myself.

But rather confusing for the resident and myself.

The mystery of the disappearing chicken has been solved.

And that's all the excitement in Kairanga Court for the night folks, sorry to disappoint.

But this Metaphoric Drug Dependent doesn't mind one bit, she's too busy letting her dependency get the better of her. Yay for "drugs". Don't stay off "drugs" kids, only actual drugs which are BAD.

But other than actual drugs, them metaphoric drugs be fiiiiine, mighty fine.

Too bad any potential readers out there have no way of telling for sure what it is I'm talking about.

Mwahahahahahahahahaha.

Hack hack hack, cough cough.

I hate this pre-cold cough I have going on. Not pleasant and deffo not appreciated in the slightest. Am thinking I might need actual drugs, of the medical nature, to combat how crap I'm feeling as of now. However, am also feeling too lazy to go find said medicine and administer it to myself. Will stew in my viral infection.

Millions of viral phages are infecting my body's cells and using their replicative properties to spawn more viral cells. Which when you think about it, is a lot like the viruses raping my cells to make more viruses to do some more raping. And on it goes, until my body's cells have all been violated and the white blood cells finally get their shit together and sort out the rapist viruses. By which point I'm a coughing, wheezing, runny nosed, headachey, and all over crappy feeling mess.

And that, dear children, is my take on what happens when you get a flu.

Doesn't it just sound yummy? =)

I'm so excited about it now, just can't wait to get past this scratchy throat stage and on to those other awesome sounding symptoms!

FML.

Hopefully my sitting here, wearing my fantasticool beanie with the ear bits (you know the kind I mean? the ones with the stringy bits that hang by each ear) will help at least keep me head warm.

Not sure if that'll even do any good. Those viruses might like a warm environment in which to rape my cells. Who knows.

Now I'm feeling violated on behalf of my raped somatic cells.

Going to go seek some form of somatic cell counselling, wish me luck.

Over and out.